Vile Jelly Radio

changed my mind

we’re live. a turntable seems to be outta commission. RIYL: the dead kennedys, the dead milkmen, the dead zone, the dead boys, the dead flamin hot cheetos

no vije yelly toni

no vile jelly tonight because the childhood obesity epidemic is out of hand, it’s an all hands on deck situation, only you can fight childhood obesity, childhood obesity is a forest fire raging through today’s childhoods, I simply cannot spare two hours of my sunday evening spinning the hottest platters from the seventies, eighties, and nineties when there are obese children lumbering through their childhoods with glucose levels roaring, insane levels of sucrose, fructose pouring out of their eyes like halogen headlamps, meanwhile I’m sitting in an office chair at the $500,000 college radio station tappin my toes to the meat puppets? jesus lizard? butthole surfers? jesus and mary chain? bauhaus? suicide? einsturzende neubauten? I don’t think so. Not this time. I’m not going to let another generation of obese children pass me by. No sir. Tonight I’m the catcher in the rye, except instead of normal size-M Salinger-era children who need to be caught in the rye, I will be saving porky little porklets, fatty cutlets of youth who would otherwise congeal and slide their way into our nation’s future like fudgy fishsticks etc etc; there may be no more episodes after this depending on the “economic downturn,” also mitt romney has come down hard against vile jelly radio, also ross report, holy shit Perot is an anagram of Report, but with an extra R, Weather Perrot, Road Parrot, ok gotta run  see you at the bar

No Vile Jelly This Sunday 4/15!! // COME TO LOUISVILLE

Dear Peaceful Warriors,

I am travelling to Louisville, KY this weekend to open for the Comedy Act Not to Laugh At, my favorite live speech act of all time, 8 p.m. Saturday 4/14/12 at the legendary Nancy’s Bagel Grounds, 2101 Frankfort Ave, Louisville, KY 40206. Thus Vile Jelly will be guest-hosted by a mysterious college student named Destanye; maybe you should listen after all!

Word on the ground in KY is that mighty surprises are in store for Nancy’s on Saturday night, the sort of surprises that even if you’re expecting a surprise you’ll still be surprised if only because there will no surprise which is surprising since you were expecting at least a mild surprise. Or so I’ve heard.

I haven’t written any material yet, but I’m taking Greyhound, so the material is bound to write itself. This event is FREE